Desophistication

The Internet is over. (And stupid)

2006-07-22T12:44:00.000-04:00

Surfed over to a London Review of Books article, by Terry Eagleton, on Frederic Jameson. Somehow at the top of the screen the two Google-run adverts that appeared in the little box were for the Assembly of God and something anti-Trinitarian (Protestant sectarian theology, I guess. Strange information entropy these days.

Blasts from the past

2006-05-20T16:20:00.000-04:00

http://chrismagazine.blogspot.com/ (13May06)

The Wonder Stuff? They're still together? I haven't heard them since I was in college.... Except that I just dug up the "Hup" cassette (!) last month.

Come to think of it, I also just last month ran into a very old acquaintance from those years, whom I hadn't seen since the Wonder Stuff was big. (And 'alternative' music was alternative.)

If a clod be washed away to the sea, Europe is the less.

2005-09-02T14:50:00.000-04:00

The German newspapers, perhaps because of their distance from the situation in New Orleans, seem able describe it with a calm gravity. The Süddeutsche Zeitung has taken a three-pronged approach: besides the news itself, there is an analysis of Bush, plus a pair of articles on the Crescent City.

I. Anarchy in the USA.
Stephan Kornelius' piece calmly follows the lead of the New York Times in noting Bush's difficulties with rapid-reaction. "The shock-phase following 'Katrina' was particularly long"; the deer-in-the headlights moment was only hesitatingly overcome on the third day. At which point, the authorities were overwhelmed and lines of responsibility were rather chaotic, which is "not entirely unusual for America."

But Kornelius identifies the heart of the problem (the anarchy), which stems in part from the fact that Bush paid little attention to the victims in the early hours. He puts it in stark and no-longer- theoretical terms:

If the State is overwhelmed by this original condition and finally fails, then the anger will quickly present the danger that politics, most of all this politics with the President on top of the pyramid, will be attacked.

He predicts that if the chaos is not brought under control soon, then political Washington will make Bush pay a heavy political price "for this demonstration of governmental infirmity."

II. Sensuality, R.I.P.
The Süddeutsche Zeitung also contains a beautiful obituary for the City of New Orleans, by Voker Breidecker.

Now the city is sinking into the water, and with her the dream, that life in the Big Easy follows only its own laws, that it goes on more slowly and indolently, more heavy-blooded and yet more cheerful, lighter, and more carefree than it goes on anywhere else. And now the bodies drift in the water; nobody knows how many... among them the poorest of the poor, who possessed no vehicles.... Their simple wooden houses, that are marked with ghastly symbols like in the plague-times of the middle ages, have become for them cases of death.

(After this, the article tends to shift into the preterit tense.) The writer is well aware that New Orleans has despite its images always been a city of the poor. And of course it was known to be a doomed and sinking ship: but the inhabitants' sense of being in an impossible situation was taken in and turned into its music, songs, its lifestyle. Breidecker mourns for it as a distinctly European city: indeed, as a city that was frequently succeeding when the Europeans themselves were failing. It was "aways already 'multicultural' long before that word was discovered."

Also sinking with New Orleans is the last colony, the last dream-city of the old Europe, which here and only here, in the delta of Ol' Man River, fused with America, Africa, and the Carribbean. Even Europe's own nations--French and Germans, British and Irish, Italians and Spaniards, Poles and Russians--have already lived 'down by the riverside' in peaceful neighborliness much longer than the places, out of which they migrated. New Orleans is--in mourning we must now say: was--by far the most 'unamerican' city on its continent.

In what sense this last sentence is true, i can't quite say.

III.
Cities, in the United States, are quite different things from cities in Europe, for neither the Americans nor anyone else can pretend that they were just 'always here.' (Except in a few old Spanish towns that are remarkably small). In Europe, however--in the greater part of the inhabitited world--that is the assumption, as anyone who's been to Italy can see. Venice was once the seat of an empire, with the greatest assortment of luxury goods in all Europe. Rome built an empire by building roads. And Cordoba was the capital of a Caliphate for 300 years a millenium ago. But Americans are used to considering their cities as having just been founded. Which might be why we find it so hard to contain suburban sprawl: our cities, we think--especially if we're not on the East Coast--are really only in version 2 or 3; the really profressional development won't be going on until v.5 anyway.

So it is a shock to us to contemplate the end of a great city, even if the rust belt has gotten an awful lot of practice in the last 30 years. Or rather, it's hard to contemplate a city that has reached the possible limits of its growth, which New Orleans certainly had. Yet New Orleans was unique because it was older than the others in its neighborhood, and because it was French, sometimes Spanish, and because the architecht Jefferson bought it ready-made (so that we could reserve our efforts for building Council Bluffs). Perhaps the sense of doom that seems to have always pervaded it stems from the knowledge that we didn't create it ourselves. Perhaps it's from the fact that it is an anchorage and point of commerce with a south-north orientation, whereas the trend in American history is to lay lines of communication east-west. Perhaps it's the vampires.

Other places in America have disappeared, but that was because they were not destinations. So much of our culture comes from New Orleans, it is hardly possible to imagine America without it. No Dixieland, no Jazz Age, no Tenessee Williams, no Emeril. Can all this really have sunk forever into a lake?

We avoided the Apocalypse by going into exile.

2005-09-02T13:17:00.000-04:00

Yes, we left the country and crossed the Ocean in July. And that's where we're staying for now. We left in order to avoid the pending catastrophe. Although we predicted it was more likely to be of a shadow-of-the-dark-side type thing, than a deluge. And we are saddened at the condition of the Gulf Coast. However, after living through the Tsumami-winter in Eastern New England, we are not particularly surprised that there was a hurricane. Yet we are stunned by the number of casualties and the fact that the Army Corps of Engineers simply wasn't given enough money to do its job.

More on the catatrophe soon.

New Moon in Gemini. Get used to it.

2005-06-07T09:24:00.000-04:00

Suddenly, there's, like, news.

Ronald Reagan, Libertarian
We think that it must be the confusing Gemini effect that can explain the fact that the three Justices who voted for pot for sick people were the conservatives, including two Reagan appointees. Or could it be that one of them is, actually, a cancer patient?
UPDATE: Wednesday's NYT editorializes that the majority is really about protecting the Interstate Commerce Act, which includes the federal power to ban child labor. We wonder how much they are rationalizing.

A couple of Yale Men
The Boston Globe is reporting that John F. Kerry's grades at Yale were not any better than George W. Bush's. And sometimes they were worse. Kerry's freshman year was particularly disappointing. But we think the most interesting item in the story is that Bush's best grades were in the following subjects. They were 88's, or a B+.

Anthropology
History
Philosophy

No, we are not making this up. Bush got a B+ in philosophy at Yale. Which is a very good grade in a very difficult subject. On top of that, the effect of grade inflation mean that college grades before the Vietnam War would translate about half a grade higher today, sometimes more. So Bush was, if we can apply today's measures, an A- student in anthropology, history, and philosophy.

Three subjects you might need competence in if you were, say, planning a war against an Arab country. And Kerry's highest grade was about the same, but in political science.

On the other hand, Bush's success in those subjects does go a long way toward explaining the mystery of how it came about that a bookish teacher and librarian married him.

What the Globe's article is glossing over, of course, is the fact that is was simply easier to get D's in those years, particularly as a freshman. And the college attrition rate was higher (though probably not in the Ivy League). But the larger point is that Bush and Kerry's freshman year academic performance is really a moot point, and was at the time. After all, they were at Yale. And they were at Yale because they'd been at the most exclusive, elite private prep schools in the country, schools that have always considered it a matter of indifference whether one was more like an athlete or a scholar.

I imagine it would infuriate the current generation of college freshman, who actually had to fight for a place at their prestigious universities, that both Bush and Kerry had a free year, maybe two, to goof around. After all, they'd gotten into Yale, and in those days freshman and even sophomore year was way to early to really worry about one's career plans or grad school. And there was a tacit assumption by the old boys who kept things running that most academic deficits could be made up, at least if you were well connected. The midnight oil was burned by the nice small-town kids from the midwest.

The real news today reflects on the values of the Democratic party, which clearly chose a deeply rooted elitist to run as its candidate last year. Bush, at least, has at times pretended to by trying to be a populist.

This is what the decline of the regime looks like.

2005-05-22T12:30:00.000-04:00

Laura Bush visits Jerusalem and is hated by everybody. The Israelis protest her, and the Arabs protest her. (It seems the Israeli protestors wanted to free Jonathan Pollard, a platform, which, all other things being equal, is senseless: after all, a captured spy is a captured spy. We can be confident his job description involved not getting caught.)

Now, Mrs. Bush she were a President, the fact that nobody likes what she is doing could be legitimately taken as a sign of good, or at least prudent, policy.

But First Ladies are supposed to be liked by everybody. This point is so obvious that we doubt it has ever needed to be stated until now. Even 'controversial' First Ladies are only controversial among Americans. (Eleanor, Nancy, Hillary were pretty good at either diplomacy or statecraft). Arguably, a First Lady is sometimes (yes, because of sexist, partriarchal condescension) an instrument of foreign policy.

Protesting a policymaker is one thing; protesting a First Lady is tantamount to a manifestation of the pending loss of all civilized discourse.

2005-05-22T12:17:00.000-04:00

--We have considered that we've been rather quiet ever since the White Smoke went up. The reasons for this are simple: there was nothing to say after that; there was nothing one would say after that; there was nothing that could be said after that. And we weren't sure what to think. --

We wuz wrong

2005-05-12T10:32:00.000-04:00

OK, we admit it: we were, like, absolutely, totally completely wrong. Worse, we were shameless optimists. Although we were very correct about the language requirement, that was only the most obvious criterion.

But a lot of people were wrong with us. The Italian Press, for instance. We heard Cokie Roberts gasped in surprise or shock when the result was announced. Most ecclesiologists were agreed that (1) the new guy will not be the favorite going in to the voting; (2) the new guy will 'not be very closely associated with the old regime.' We were all wrong.

We would tell you that we've just been drinking ourselves into a stupor for the last month as a result, but we didn't, because that's what we did for November, and it's been getting boring.

Still, we do not underestimate the power of this battlestation. Actually, when a few years ago we were discussing the coming election with a friend, we thought that Yoda was wise about these things: "Difficult to see, the Dark Side is."

Handicapping the mother of all elections

2005-04-18T11:09:00.000-04:00

Hi, we're back after a wild Mercury retrograde, and wanted to offer our predictions for this week in Rome, keeping in mind that it is extremely difficult for anybody to say who, or what, the new pope will be--it is much easier to say who it will not be.

It will obviously not be Ratizinger, because he was the first name mentioned by the Italian press, which is a sure sign he has enemies. The proverb holds: "Whoever goes in a pope, comes out a cardinal." As it was, the Italian press spent the rest of the week airing the case of Ratzinger's opposition. And it won't be Martini either (his name's been bandied about in opposition to Ratzinger). But we've known that for a long time.

It should not be anybody who wants the job, and it would be surprising if it went to somebody who did. The reasons for this are not only theological and existential, but also classical.

It will not be an American, a point which was already obvious. Stalin's remark about the Vatican, in a way, missed the point: the pope should not have any divisions in Stalin's sense of the term. However, nobody really realized Stalin was wrong until Wojtyla had been pope a while. For that matter, it's not mere coincidence that the most important American diplomats of the 1970s were Central Europeans.

There are two things not to be underestimated about the conclave (1) how much influence Ratzinger still has; and (2) how much power Ratzinger does not have. He is presently nothing but the Dean of the College of Cardinals. Compare that position the position of the typical Dean at a typical mid-sized American college, considered vis-a-vis its professors. Now consider that the boss who appointed him is gone, and Dean will be losing his job at the next convenient opportunity. It's just not a very efficacious position.

OK, so beyond the typically rarefied method of bickering in the Holy Roman Church, here's what we thing the necessary qualifications for the office clearly are:

The next supreme pontiff:

Should be a polyglot. He'll need to speak Italian (obviously) and Spanish, and probably English as well. There is no need for him to know French, but German or a Slavic language would be a plus. We'd love to have a pope with facility in Arabic, but there aren't any likely candidates this time.
Will need to know Latin, for purely litugical reasons: the Cardinals shouldn't want to intentionally start a dispute about the form of the liturgy, since these keep breaking out anyway.
Should be willing to dress down the formerly so-called Leader of the Free World, when possible and necessary. Hence, the importance of understanding and speaking English.
Needs to be willing to work on Palestinian-Israeli issues, a/k/a "Peace in the Middle East." (After all, we do still refer to it as "the holy land." )
Needs to have the ability to exhort and persuade one billion people and their leaders that World Peace is a virtuous and worthy goal to strive for.

That is all. Any other qualifications are purely accidental to the papacy. You'll notice that the requirements are defined by functions and not by ideas. This is because only functions can be correlated to actual social facts. Remember, the Pope is nothing but a prince, who also happens to be a bishop. Or perhaps, he is a bishop, who also happens to be a prince.

Only because they made a federal case out of it.

2005-03-25T15:49:00.000-05:00

For Holy Thursday Desophistication was true to its mandate and got out to one of the nearer provinces of the interior. And we saw three newspapers all covering the same story. But they had three different headlines.

Lancaster Intelligencer-Journal: "Shiavo's Parents Suffer Setback."
Philadelphia Inquirer: "Schiavo Legal Battle Waning."
USA Today: "Schiavo Options Near End."

From which we concluded, that any rational person would conclude, that there is no consensus here. For that matter, there are no fewer than three different sets of categories by which to interpret the information. And they don't overlap.

We are having trouble breathing upon our exalted platform

2005-03-23T10:23:00.000-05:00

The Boston Globe seems perplexed as to why the catholic archbishop, speaking this week about the priesthood, stated that Jesus' disciples were apparently not "the best and brightest." Quoting the sermon:

"Jesus,... in forming his spiritual army, did not assemble a well-groomed, highly disciplined, state-of-the-art army of Dale Carnegie communicators in polyester suits and well-moussed pompadours, but rather he went down to the wharves and called a ragtag dirty dozen to be the pillars on which he would build his church, a clear indication that the enterprise was to be more than met the eye," he said.

We'll find the signifieds so the Globe doesn't have to.
The Jesuit order was founded by a soldier and have always considered itself a "spiritual army," famous for its sublime discipline. Being a modern religious order, it does also tend to be "state-of-the-art" by Catholic standards, frequently on the cutting edge of both theology and pastoral ministry. And this order operates a very large, selective university in the archbishop's city, at which people study these disciplines and numerous others; its students are famous for their well-moussed pomadours. They also give the best homilies, as they are thoroughly trained in the arts of persuasion.

So, the bishop was arguing over which catholic religious orders are more in touch with original Christianity. Actually, this is about vectors of power: he was arguing over who is more similar to Peter and the Apostles.

One correction to make to his remarks: the claim that Jesus did not have some of the "best and brightest" for disciples is confounded by evidence. St. John was obviously smart enough to become an evangelist and the church's "first theologian." Most Christians believe that Christ also personally called St. Paul, probably on account of his intellect. But the smartest of the disciples was Mary Magdalene, who tradition maintains devoted the rest of her life to study and contemplation, even though her publications were suppressed.

not to be dignified with a headline

2005-03-20T10:21:00.000-05:00

yesterday Boston's archbishop spoke at a Catholic version of the Promise Keepers called "the Boston Catholic Men's Conference." One of the speakers there, a high school counselor, was applauded when he said, ''You are called to be the spiritual leaders of your home, not your wife." (We'll also note that this week an Italian Cardinal denounced the novel The Da Vinci Code because, among other things, it claims that Mary Magdalene was at the table of the last supper, and was a spiritual leader in the early Christian Church.)

it is difficult to explain how alien to christianity this sort of talk is. since it was a catholic event, let's just state that it's an affront to the Blessed Mother.

Perhaps more interesting, though, is how the bishop described contemporary society as ''a world where too often the father is absent spiritually, emotionally, and physically." Since this message was transcribed by the Globe from a speech, we are wondering whether the bishop was referring to an absence of the father or of The Father.

Sunday Summary: wake us up, spring break's over

2005-03-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

Memoradum: Catholic parishoners overcome bourgeois, individualist, capitalist values. Even more surprising: they make friends, they share a common purpose, and they are consoled. Go figure.
Ralph Lauren's cars are cool. Because they are art. And in a blue state, only what is art is cool. Also, they exceed state speed limits (imagine yourself driving in a red state). And their designers wore crisp white shirts.
Semiotic Brand Analysis takes the Beltway by storm!!

The Judgment: this was a case in which Sunday provided a confirmation of Saturday.

Anecdote on the difference between Europe and America

2005-03-10T11:02:00.001-05:00

From the Boston Phoenix:

Not long after Cambridge instituted its smoking ban in October 2003, I went to the Middle East to see Holly Golightly, the bluesy English chanteuse. Between sets, I ducked out to the dingy back alley to suck down a smoke. There was Holly herself, a fag perched jauntily in her slender fingers. We got to talking, and it wasn�t long before she expressed her perplexed exasperation: why the hell was she not allowed to enjoy her Dunhill with her Scotch? At that moment I was embarrassed for my city. I also wondered if the Massachusetts ban might dissuade certain performers from making Boston a stop on their itinerary.

More distressingly, Millard reports on a 2002 incident in Fairfax County, VA, in which the local police ran a sting in a bar, using a breathalyzer and arresting 18 patrons--inside the bar-- for "public intoxication." None them had attempted to drive; none had created a disturbance. (Second page from link).

Anecdote on the difference between Europe and America

2005-03-10T11:02:00.000-05:00

From the Boston Phoenix:

Not long after Cambridge instituted its smoking ban in October 2003, I went to the Middle East to see Holly Golightly, the bluesy English chanteuse. Between sets, I ducked out to the dingy back alley to suck down a smoke. There was Holly herself, a fag perched jauntily in her slender fingers. We got to talking, and it wasn't long before she expressed her perplexed exasperation: why the hell was she not allowed to enjoy her Dunhill with her Scotch? At that moment I was embarrassed for my city. I also wondered if the Massachusetts ban might dissuade certain performers from making Boston a stop on their itinerary.

Familism today

2005-03-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

Frankly, we've been disappointed in the media's sense of anti-clericalism this year. It's like they forgot to put some thought behind their impressive but reactive efforts two years ago. Then we found this piece from Seattle. (Also known as the other antipode of I-90.) One more reason we believe we should really consider moving there.

Yet there seems to be some irony in the reference to The Ballad of Reading Gaol, one of the greatest anti-capital-punishment screeds ever crafted.

Supreme Court applies global test

2005-03-01T14:01:00.000-05:00

Memo to candidates and debaters:
The Supreme Court ruled that is is unconstitutional to seek the death penalty for juveniles. Justice Kennedy wrote the opinion, in which he affirmed that "It is proper that we acknowledge the overwhelming weight of international opinion against the juvenile death penalty, resting in large part on the understanding that the instability and emotional imbalance of young people may often be a factor in the crime."

Also, it's the top story on Deutsche Welle.

Fragment: Anecdote on the Rise of Claustrophobia

2005-02-18T11:29:00.000-05:00

Today's Hit and Run at Reason magazine describes the finally-released transcript of Harvard President Larry Summers' recent remarks, which became cannon-fodder in a strange symbolic war, which was good for symbolic journalists, and may or may not have had casualties. Apparently, the squabble is over what one concludes from "a greater variability in aptitude among men" on certain tests. In other words, what does it mean that men are less likely than women to be "normal" as these tests measure it? But--perhaps because this started in the Ivy League--nobody fighting the war is interested in the question of normal.

BREAKING NEWS: Iraq War did NOT eliminate terrorist threat.

2005-02-16T19:35:00.000-05:00

CIA has concluded that the U.S. invading Iraq helped the terrorists. "The Iraq conflict... has become a cause for extremists," DCI Porter Gosss told Congress.

Also in the news: the Surgeon General has concluded that war may be hazardous to your health; studies of famine and pestilence are currently under review.

Another reason to hug trees.

2005-02-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

Enough trees can save you from a Tsunami. We're planning to move to Washington State now.

Weekly Roundup: Exorcism, the new Paxil?

2005-02-13T11:36:00.000-05:00

Just a reminder: people are experiencing serious psychological and religious difficulties in the Indian Ocean region in the wake of the Tsunami. A Globe reporter witnesses a traditional healing session in Sri Lanka. (It looks to us as if the healer employs a technique using runes of some sort.)
As for religious affairs that just aren't that important: Eileen McNamara on how the Catholic Church in Boston is just picking up where it left off. Most perplexing tidbit: is it true that the PR person for the archdiocese, is not even employed by the archdiocese? What? Could it not find a spokeswoman who wanted to be on its payroll? Or has it adopted a strategy of "outsourcing" its public statements? Is this sending a faith-based message?

Desophistication Super Bowl Ad Awards

2005-02-07T11:27:00.000-05:00

Before the hangover set in, we realized that this might be a good time to be faithful to our blog's mission. Hence, just like most segments of the mainstream media, we're gonna tell you what we liked and disliked about the Super Bowl commercials.

Before we begin, let's wistfully note that "1984" was over twenty years ago. Apple Computer has been going on a long time, folks. (Napster has no chance of beating them whatsoever.) As for this year--we were wondering, why was Paul McCartney's stage designed in the shape of a Greek cross?

One rule: ads that ran after halftime are not on our radar screen. (The fact that this year's game had a second half was a pleasant surprise). And we think that in the future, ads for wheeled vehicles will be a special set. So, here goes:

Most Annoying Sellout: the Muppets were shilling for Pizza Hut??
Weirdest Ad: McDonald's "Lincoln Fry" spot. Fast Food Nation attempts sophomoric humor, tries to split the difference between civil religion and superstition.
Most Mundane: Volvo's Rocket ad for its new V8 wagon, with cameo by Richard Branson. The bright idea of showing a Titan rocket lift-off during the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Is this the best phallic symbol they can come up with?
Most Timely Ad: Ford's ad for its forthcoming Mustang convertible: man freezes driving red convertible on tundra (with inexplicable stoplight). Those of us still digging out from under 3 feet of snow can really relate to it.
Best Automobile Ad: The Cadillac 'under-5' series, with tunnel and bridge. Unlike the Volvo ad, this one was pure rocketry.
The only really cool movie ad last night: For "War of the Worlds." And it was a blipvert.
The James Spader Prize for Sheer Audacity, Most Subversive Commercial, and also Most Old Skool: GoDaddy.com's first quarter mock Senate-censors committee hearing. This had everything: eye candy, mummery, and rebellion. It not only mocked the Janet Jackson controversy, it also alluded to DeCaprio's Howard Hughes in The Aviator, which tells of unholy alliances of corporate money and politics, and in general it stood up for internet-based libertarian anarchy. Oh, and it also mentioned the product (you looked at the site, didn't you?)--which turns out to be a discount ISP/web-hosting service. And it did all that with a minimal production budget. For those of you who are too young to know: This is what the '90s were like. And we are so glad that the '90s aren't dead (or have been resurrected).
Best Overall Super Bowl Commercial: Diet Pepsi's "Stayin' Alive" spot, with a cameo by Carson Kressley. It's a fine cola ad before it throws in the very unexpected juxtapostion of Carson and the Super Bowl. Nostalgic, sexy, corporate and postmodern all at the same time--what else is there to be at Super Bowl? (Also, we are still impressed with Pepsi's consistent command of pop music, all the way back to what, 1986? Coca-Cola might own Christmas, but Pepsi certainly owns the Super Bowl).

As a footnote, we are also wondering why the first (only?) Cialis ad (or Viagra, for that matter) wasn't until the mid-third Quarter. Are American men less impotent this year? Is that an effect of November's election results? Or is it because the New England market for such drugs dried up after the Boston Red Sox actually won the World Series? (Yes, really, they did win! It wasn't a dream!)

UPDATE: The Godaddy.com ad was also subjected to ex post facto censorship. An NFL official called it "inappropriate." But compared to what, exactly? A plug for Desperate Housewives?

Is Evangelicalism the next Feminism?

2005-02-05T10:57:00.000-05:00

The Globe found a top official of the National Association of Evangelicals describing the Moral Majority as an "aberration." Apparently it is not cool for Christians to be judgmental. (Six months after the death of Ronald Reagan, they get it.) This will be news to a lot of people. But here's the interesting graf:

Scholars who study black and Hispanic evangelicals in the Unvied States said that both groups remain far more politically liberal than white evangelicals and that the leadership of evangelical Protestant organizations in the United States has often failed to recognize the economic and social justice concerns of nonwhite evangelicals.

Could it be that in America, all movements eventually develop the same problems?

P.S. Yes, we know Philocrites posted on this before we did; we'd decided to hold the story till Sunday since it's not as important as the story about birds making philosophical distinctions. But it is intriguing that we're all highlighting the same adjective.

NEWSFLASH: imminent death of all Philosophy

2005-02-02T11:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the Times' science section reported on a startling new development, or rather, discovery: Birds can think. AND they can teach advanced concepts! Nothing less than the future of all human educational institutions is at stake. It appears, for instance, that Clark nutcrackers are good Hobbesians who can hide and steal: "If they see another bird watching them as they cache food, they return later, alone, to hide the food again. Some scientists believe this shows a rudimentary theory of mind - understanding that another bird has intentions and beliefs."

But the real problem is that professional thinkers --academics --will have to compete on the job market with parrots:

Parrots, some researchers report, can converse with humans, invent syntax and teach other parrots what they know. Researchers have claimed that Alex, an African gray, can grasp important aspects of number, color concepts, the difference between presence and absence, and physical properties of objects like their shapes and materials. He can sound out letters the same way a child does.

So 2,800 years of western philosophy have come to this. The only thing standing between a bird and every fourth job in Boston is a typewriter.

Happy Groundhog Day

2005-02-02T10:54:00.000-05:00

Today, thankfully, the op-eds have turned to the most important discussion: writing. (Well, speechwriting, which is a few steps down but good-enough-for-DC.)

Matthew Scully, Bush speechwriter, on the State-of-the-Union Process. He indirectly makes the case that W. knows what he is saying.
Jeff Sheshol, that the 'rebuttal speech' has a lousy format and ought immediately to be either deeply reformed or abolished.

Both of these pieces point out the difference between what we would call, Platonically, the difference between the true editor and the false editor. (Hint: most'editors' in DC are the latter.) We'll have more to say on this subject later this week.

Selling the Brooklyn Bridge?

2005-01-22T17:52:00.000-05:00

It was a blizzard, and chataqua was snacking on MTV-Hits. And the "All Because of You" video was playing--U2 doing a Beatles- and U2-esque surprise concert on the Brooklyn Bridge and elsewhere in the middle of the city. (Something that can actually almost overwhem New Yorkers). And the next video was Good Charlotte's "I Just Want to Live." A good, parodic video with classic style.

But in betwen them was an advert was inserted--or possibly a blipvert, as it was only 20 seconds--for the "classic first season" of Newlyweds. Yes the Jessica Simpson- and-what's-his-name-show. The 'new Sonny & Cher' (we really don't think so).

we couldn't help but speculate as to why? why would any network traffic director in his right mind do such a thing? There must have been just too much authenticity (a/k/a Rock-&-Roll!) in these too videos, which would overwhelm these ten minutes of pseudo-network television. Hence, the blipvert, pitching a copy of one of the least credible 'reality' series, featuring the least-likely-to-become genuine stars, since the Partridge Family. How reassuring.

So this phenomenon was: The Inauthenticity Strikes Back.
You'd think that MTV could have at least found something about the 1967 Monkees to run.

P.S. since we've seen the video, we heart Good Charlotte!

Four years ago it was warm, but rained all day.

2005-01-20T14:15:00.000-05:00

We were in a psychology class at the noon hour today. Wonkette has nice coverage of that ceremony in DC. Did she bang all that out on a Blackberry? Check out the 11:49AM entry.

Inauguration Alternate Reality-Maine

2005-01-17T11:50:00.000-05:00

Remember all those important news stories from four-and-a-half years ago? We didn't think so. Today's Globe reports on the aftermath of one of them:

A slender man... kicking the tires of an 18-wheeler as he readied the behemoth for a journey down the star-lit highways. that have become his unexpected lifeline.

After 30 years as a reporter, 29 of them at the Portland Press Herald, Ted Cohen six months ago embraced a new profession: trucking.

This trucker is the former reporter who broke--or rather, tried to break--the story about George W. Bush's arrest for drunken driving in Kennebunkport. The story, and eventually, its reporter, was squashed by spineless editors. So the reporter, rather than taking up blogging, took up trucking.

Tsunami Europae

2005-01-09T11:58:00.000-05:00

n.b. blogging continues: Our favorite WiFi cafe has redecorated and reopened.

A good commentary on the Tsunami appeared in the Boston Globe: Scot Lehigh compared the Indian Ocean disaster to the earthquake that destroyed Lisbon on All Saint's Day, 1755, and caught most of the city's population worshipping at mass. Thus, the Tsunami was widely interpreted--as it should be--as an argument against the existence (or the benevolence) of God.

The Philocrites blog has commented on this article's representation of Voltaire as against theodicies (technical jargon for any question that reduces to the form "Why did Job lose everything?"). They see Lehigh as finding that Voltaire's view (against theodicies) 'has become commonplace today.' We think the evidence suggests that the philosophe's view is common in some places more than others.

Happy New Year!

2005-01-06T11:58:00.000-05:00

Belated, yes -- you really can't expect bloggers to post when they're hungover -- but in the spirit of New Year's revelry & mummery we recommend Lily Burana's artcle in the current Nerve, on how teenybopper pop iconography has been replaced (& superseded) with housewife iconography.

Loganized

2004-12-22T20:35:00.000-05:00

Desophistication is stuck at BOS-Logan Airport. Our nonstop flight to the other coast--why change planes in a Red State?--is three hours delayed, even though the weather is fine. We're also flying the most understaffed major airline ever, but we saved enough on the ticket to pay for this WiFi connection.

So as a public service, here's our review of Terminal C, Logan International Airport, Boston.

Terminal C is designed so that most of the shops and restaurants are outside the Security Area, near ticketing & baggage check. The gate concourses have fairly modest amenites (as is the case in most of Logan). We're not sure whether this is a good or a bad thing.
Our present location, "The Sam Adams Brew Pub" in Terminal C, is cheesy and the food is overpriced. In fact, they sell Legal Sea Foods' Clam Chower, but it's more expensive than at Legal's. But it's in a bread boule. (We had Mozzerella sticks, in a futile attempt to relive our high school years spent at Bennigan's.) Worse, it has bad acoustics and no music. The plasma TV screens don't save it.
Sam drafts are $4.85. We have met far worse prices in airports.
Perhaps we would have been better off at Legal's bar. The Fish & Chips are actually cheaper there (go figure). Perhaps we'll still get there -- did we mention that our departure was delayed *three hours*? But Legal's is, well, Legal's -- it looks like the Oak Room, which has its plusses and minuses, which directly correspond to one's expense account.
Official Red Sox hats are $21.95 throughout the terminal. Must be the standard price.
If you go to Terminal C, remember that the best airport shopping may be behind you. A few of the better souvenir stands are tucked behind the Delta baggage check-ins.
Hudson News is still cool, but I didn't see the Brookstone till it was too late, which is a shame, because they have the best luggage tags and locks (that you can get in an airport). But I would've spent more than necessary there.
The electronics store seems to have friendly and helpful salesmen, though I don't know if anyone but a pilot would by a PalmPilot in an airport. (The Demo model of the T5 had a program called 'airline log' on it. Or something to that effect.)
The shops close at about 7pm.
Philadelphia (PHL) Terminals B-C are far superior. Starting with the fact that the Independence Brew Pub is way cool. For that matter, even the overpriced PHL bars at least rock.

All in all, Logan Terminal C is satisfactory, maybe a B-, as long as you don't actually have to go to a gate or anything.

UPDATE: inside security: the bar inside the security area seems to have closed at, like 8:30 (as did Legal's, outside of security). We were disappointed. Had we known, we would have had another Sam Boston Lager. This happened to us once at Midway: airport bars close early. We hope the airline comps us a drink. Oh, to be a real lush like Wonkette!

How not to be an Insider

2004-12-16T10:41:00.000-05:00

A ray of hope had been declared in the mist of the Clone Wars. In today's Phoenix, Dan Kennedy interviews Atlantic Monthly editor Jack Beatty on great political writing. It's not all historical. As they were musing on Eleanor Roosevelt, Beatty made a prediction:

I think that if we--when we--get a woman president, there will be a self-made aspect to it. I have a candidate: Stephanie Herseth, a congresswoman. She is the female Barack Obama. Shes a 33-year-old South Dakotan who, while Tom Daschle was losing statewide, was winning by six or seven points, and Bush was pulling the state out by 25 points. I've watched her on C-SPAN. She is a political talent. You know how John Edwards just seems to have it? Shes got it.

We agree. One of Herseth's campaign TV-ads from early this year was among the best campaign ads we have ever seen. (And btw you may not know this, but we are academically qualified to judge these things.) We were almost ready to relocate to South Dakota. In the middle of winter.

Also, she's from a small, rural state with a degree from Georgetown. Remind you of anybody?

The Columbia to Cantabrigia Blues

2004-12-15T16:23:00.000-05:00

Wonkette's sub notes that there's a big, inside-the-beltway type confab going on today at Harvard. Which we don't think will look anything like the big beltway-type shenanigans we had here in July. Also pessimism has made our city a pretty cold place for this week.

The Wonkette operative notes that "incompetent security at Reagan" can be blamed for several people and a Republican missing their shuttle up here. We would consider that a result rather of the gate agents' surprise and disorientation when a flock Republicans had "Cambridge" stamped on their ticket.

Yes, New York is bad for the GOP.

2004-12-15T11:14:00.000-05:00

Drudge Report, NYT, Wonkette, all other media with nothing better to do have been reporting the story that Bush's recently withdrawn Homeland Security nominee, Bernard Kerik, didn't just have a 'nanny problem' (which would be sooo 1994 anyway). He was also having an (extramarital) affair with his publisher, in an apartment near ground zero. Supposedly, it's the value of the real estate that's the real problem.

Is this a real story? Maybe for Republicans, since all the details make it seem like just such a blue-state Affair. We prefer to consider in the context of PTSD: it reminds us that our holiday reading list includes Emergency Sex and Other Desperate Measures.

His Agent Must Have Had a Good Pitch

2004-12-14T23:20:00.000-05:00

So we're back to sports. Pitcher Pedro Martinez is leaving Boston for the New York Mets; the Mets offerred him $52M and a four-year guaranteed contract; the Red Sox had three-year, $40.5M offer on the table. So he took the money and ran. Note: he's already made zillions in Boston.

Most Bostonians are over it already. (After all, it was Curt Schilling's sock that turned red.) For that matter, they got over the midseason trade of Nomah awfully quickly too, especially once the playoffs happened. In the cafes they've been speculating since the ALCS whether Pedro would be back next season. I though it was likely, but close to a 50-50 chance.

The Globe's Dan Shaughnessy--who thinks the Mets made a dumb offer--aptly describes Pedro's primma donna side. But he also waxes nostalgic with some amazing high praise about how great it was to have him in town:

He was smart, fun, and entertaining. He introduced us to a new culture. He made Boston a better place in which to live and he made Fenway a better place in which to play baseball. His talent was infinite. He was a delight. Pedro game days became Fenway festivals.

As for us, it took us a while to notice Pedro, partly because for some time Nomah had more celebrity and partly because we had not yet seen the light, regarding Red Sox Nation as some bizarre and irrational Cult of Depression, a mechanism that pretended to be spring and summer but really the wise could see it was only an extension of winter into an infinite loop. But he's a brilliant pitcher. But how long did it take to beat the curse? At any rate, the fact that Pedro can't exceed seven innings was so painfully obvious at the end of 2003, that we're all ready to move on.

Whether or not a 4-year deal was a smart idea, it seems that the National League game, which expects pinch-hitters after the stretch, will be more accomodating. Also, Pedro is the type of celebrity which New Yorkers are comfortable with. As Donald Trump shows, bigger cities can hold bigger egos.

Holly and Ivy

2004-12-14T23:07:00.000-05:00

We're still here--have just been getting in touch with family recipes and insights & revelations from the old school. Also, we're in the end-of-semester crunch, which we secretly love, because life without an end-of-semester crunch is so disorienting. (And yes, we do have firsthand experience of the contra naturalis type of lifestyle where you *don't* either take or give exams every December.)

Ice Age Commentary

2004-12-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

Op-ed in today's BG with the UCC's view of the allegedly controversial ad. The overall idea is to raise their profile by extending a welcome. (Gee, so un-American these days). They held focus-groups to find out why people weren't going to church, inviting

Unchurched people (some had once been churched, others had never been) to talk about their experience and/or perception of church. The overwhelming majority expressed negative feelings. claiming that churches (of every ilk) are judgmental, archaic and make you dress and think a certain way.

So the UCC is specifically addressing the view of churchgoing religion generally held by "blue-state voters."

Two other points:
(1) In the current context it seems that the UCC is distinguishing itself most obviously from the RCC. It does so by maintaining that "all people, regardless of ability, age, race, economic circumstance, or sexual orientation will find a welcome in the church." One wonders how it ever came to this.
(2) It strikes me that in the evangelical red-states, the verb "to church" might be considered suspiciously, er, blue.

Life in the Ice Age, #1

2004-12-02T10:24:00.000-05:00

The sun's finally out, everyone's recovered from Sunday's travel delays, and strange controversies are back. The Boston Globe [BG] reports--front page--that CBS and NBC are refusing to air a 'controversial' ad from the United Church of Christ. The spot, "intended to make the point that the Protestant denomination is welcoming, briefly shows two men who are holding hands being turned away from an unnamed church."

So here's how the decision was explained by a CBS official:

Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples and other minority groups by other individuals and organizations, and the fact that the Executive Branch [the Bush Administration] has recently proposed a constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast.

In other words, the network will adjust its broadcast standards (not as the Spirit moves them but) in order to reflect the Admistration's proposals? That is, controversies are generated from the top down: Moreover, we won't let churches talk about exclusion because only the government can talk about exclusion. (!)

I guess it's trivial at this point to note that this is also another instance of up-is-downism, since the ad from the UCC, rather than being a discourse of exclusion, is actually advocating inclusion.

A day in the life of the repressive hypothesis:

2004-11-18T10:56:00.000-05:00

Scorpio, Aquarius.

Rah Rah Reagan

2004-11-17T21:06:00.000-05:00

From Slate (and shout-out to BoifromTroy): One more reason why Ronald Reagan was way cool. (And is often underestimated, as if he ever made W-class stupid mistakes):

Rehnquist is not at all creepily Machiavellian, like Burger. In fact, while he's known for making the case conferences extremely brief and businesslike, he's also acknowledged as more than evenhanded when it comes to handing out opinions—occasionally even assigning himself a crappy one, just to be fair.

Also, Rehnquist let Sen. Tom Harkin's objection stand during the impeachment trial.

Now they know....

2004-11-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

....how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall!

Purge of the Day

2004-11-17T10:18:00.000-05:00

Link. OK, again, I ask: What is going on in Andover?

Possibly related red state item. (Thanks to Wonkette!)

On the other side...

2004-11-13T13:00:00.000-05:00

Breaking News: Victor Davis Hanson is now officially a hack:

There was no new youth landside vote, much less a novel dynamic 18-to-24-year-old Kerry surge.

(BTW, that statement is not true.) Always a shame when it happens to a classicist.

155K or 136.4K?

2004-11-13T11:53:00.000-05:00

David Bernstein in this week's Boston Phoenix analyzes Ohio election returns, speculates on problems that affected Democratic counties and precincts.

According to Bernstein, Ohio election officials tried to do more with less--that is, have more voters come to fewer polling places. Ostensibly this was due to budget considerations. Bernstein crunches the numbers (p.2):

Of Ohio’s 88 counties, 20 suffered a significant reduction — shutting at least 20 percent (or at least 30) of their precincts. Most of those counties have Republicans serving as Board of Elections director, including the four biggest: Cuyahoga, Montgomery, Summit, and Lucas.

Those 20 counties went heavily to Gore in 2000, 53 to 42 percent. The other 68 counties, which underwent little-to-no precinct consolidation, went exactly the opposite way in 2000: 53 to 42 percent to Bush.

Of course, none of this, even if true and rather Floridian, affects the larger problem that Kerry lost the national popular vote by 3.5 million. But Long Live the Electoral College!

"I read the news today, oh boy...

2004-11-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire.
And though the holes were rather small,
They had to count them all..."

Rubble in the aftermath

2004-11-06T17:11:00.000-05:00

If there is a smart attitude to take in the wake of these election results, it would be (a) don't rush to believe the conventional wisdom, especially if it comes out of New York; and (b) don't rely on your emotions for analysis, either. We know this is difficult, people. Just work at it.

On that score, the online edition of the Phoenix has some good, empirically sound and on-the-ground discussion of it: both positive and negative in terms of prospects going forward. Check it out.

Also, for those who are looking for data that's just more real than the exit polls (which are henceforth subject to hyperbolic doubt), check out todays' buzz log on Yahoo. And ask yourself why it seems the red types were clicking more than blue types. (Because we're too depressed to get out of bed, is why! Because when things don't go our way, we get sad rather than angry.)

P.S. Yes, we do heart NY. We're just not sure the mainstream of the popular vote runs in the Hudson River.

The Worst Election Week Ever.

2004-11-06T11:02:00.000-05:00

So, this is what it feels like to suddenly wake up in a Dark Age. I'd always wondered. (Or, at least I'd wondered for a long time, since taking a college course on Dark Ages.) Which is much different from saying that I actually wished for it to happen.

* * * * *

One thing particularly irritating about it: last November, my brother who happens to have recently lived in a Red State called me to argue, to inform me, to attempt to convince me that the Masschusetts Supreme Court had probably just thrown the election the Republicans. Nonsense, I said; besides, they were only interpreting our Constitution, and it was a good decision, and after all, Republicans most of all recognize that states have rights. My brother and I ended up wondering whether we were living on the same planet.

So the irritating thing is that it looks like he was correct: so far the exit poll results make it seem that despite the fact that the country is involved in a senseless war where people are dying, this wedge issue, which is not even a federal matter, pushed the Presidential election.

'A Drinking Town with a Baseball Problem'

2004-10-28T13:53:00.000-04:00

Just a couple notes on the first RED SOX VICTORY IN THE WORLD SERIES since 1918! (Did they even have radio in 1918? And how did anybody know anything about baseball without radio?)

In the street celebration a few minutes after midnight, a cute, random girl kissed me. It was like the end of World War II.

How superstitious is Red Sox Nation? Everyone in the bar cheered the Lunar Eclipse when Fox showed it on TV. (I think that was the 6th inning). As it was, the Eclipse began right about the time of the first pitch, was total in the late innings and for the last out at 11:40pm, and then the moon started emerging from the earth's shadow a few minutes after midnight. (This meant that the skies brightened as the celebrations progressed to Kenmore Square).

In this morning's happy hangover, I am kinda thankful that baseball season is over; rooting for the Red Sox was starting to put a dent my wallet.

Hello, World!

2004-10-24T13:59:00.000-04:00

Today is 14 days a.D. -- after Derrida.

And the fourth day since the defeat of the New York Yankees.
Tonight is Game 2 of the World Series, St. Louis at Boston. (GO SOX!)