Desophistication Super Bowl Ad Awards

Before the hangover set in, we realized that this might be a good time to be faithful to our blog's mission. Hence, just like most segments of the mainstream media, we're gonna tell you what we liked and disliked about the Super Bowl commercials.

Before we begin, let's wistfully note that "1984" was over twenty years ago. Apple Computer has been going on a long time, folks. (Napster has no chance of beating them whatsoever.) As for this year--we were wondering, why was Paul McCartney's stage designed in the shape of a Greek cross?

One rule: ads that ran after halftime are not on our radar screen. (The fact that this year's game had a second half was a pleasant surprise). And we think that in the future, ads for wheeled vehicles will be a special set. So, here goes:

• Most Annoying Sellout: the Muppets were shilling for Pizza Hut??
  
• Weirdest Ad: McDonald's "Lincoln Fry" spot. Fast Food Nation attempts sophomoric humor, tries to split the difference between civil religion and superstition.
  
• Most Mundane: Volvo's Rocket ad for its new V8 wagon, with cameo by Richard Branson. The bright idea of showing a Titan rocket lift-off during the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Is this the best phallic symbol they can come up with?
• Most Timely Ad: Ford's ad for its forthcoming Mustang convertible: man freezes driving red convertible on tundra (with inexplicable stoplight). Those of us still digging out from under 3 feet of snow can really relate to it.
  
• Best Automobile Ad: The Cadillac 'under-5' series, with tunnel and bridge. Unlike the Volvo ad, this one was pure rocketry.
  
• The only really cool movie ad last night: For "War of the Worlds." And it was a blipvert.
  
• The James Spader Prize for Sheer Audacity, Most Subversive Commercial, and also Most Old Skool: GoDaddy.com's first quarter mock Senate-censors committee hearing. This had everything: eye candy, mummery, and rebellion. It not only mocked the Janet Jackson controversy, it also alluded to DeCaprio's Howard Hughes in The Aviator, which tells of unholy alliances of corporate money and politics, and in general it stood up for internet-based libertarian anarchy. Oh, and it also mentioned the product (you looked at the site, didn't you?)--which turns out to be a discount ISP/web-hosting service. And it did all that with a minimal production budget. For those of you who are too young to know: This is what the '90s were like. And we are so glad that the '90s aren't dead (or have been resurrected).
  
• Best Overall Super Bowl Commercial: Diet Pepsi's "Stayin' Alive" spot, with a cameo by Carson Kressley. It's a fine cola ad before it throws in the very unexpected juxtapostion of Carson and the Super Bowl. Nostalgic, sexy, corporate and postmodern all at the same time--what else is there to be at Super Bowl? (Also, we are still impressed with Pepsi's consistent command of pop music, all the way back to what, 1986? Coca-Cola might own Christmas, but Pepsi certainly owns the Super Bowl).
  

As a footnote, we are also wondering why the first (only?) Cialis ad (or Viagra, for that matter) wasn't until the mid-third Quarter. Are American men less impotent this year? Is that an effect of November's election results? Or is it because the New England market for such drugs dried up after the Boston Red Sox actually won the World Series? (Yes, really, they did win! It wasn't a dream!)

UPDATE: The Godaddy.com ad was also subjected to ex post facto censorship. An NFL official called it "inappropriate." But compared to what, exactly? A plug for Desperate Housewives?